David and I weren’t an official couple yet, but we might as well have been. He came all the way to LaFayette one night to surprise me at work, which embarrassed and delighted me. After texting my excitement, my mom,
Tori, and Zeke promptly showed up to the grocery store mere moments after David had arrived to meet him. So coincidental. 😉
Every December, LaFayette has a Christmas parade on the first Friday of the month. David came with me and my family, and he got to see how my dad will fight small children for candy in the streets. My dad’s a nice guy, he’s just very serious about candy. Afterward, we all had dinner and it was just a nice night. There was nothing spectacular about it, but I knew, deep down, that I was in love.
We sat in David’s car that night in my driveway talking for a long time before he had to head back to Rome. I was nervous and giddy and excited because I wanted to tell him I loved him even though I didn’t really want to be the one to say it first. Eventually, it popped out, and the worst thing happened: He didn’t say it back. I was pretty bummed that he didn’t feel the same way yet, but he did say he knew it was happening. It meant a lot to me that he didn’t say it just because I did (even though I wished he had at the time), but I liked that he was being careful with his words. He was thinking it over, praying about it, waiting until he was one hundred and ten percent sure that what he was feeling was love for me. Like I said, it didn’t feel great in the moment, but, I knew when (or if) he did finally say it, it would mean so much more.
Not long after that was finals week. This was a ridiculously crazy week for me, in which I was stressed and ready to snap in basically every moment. I was taking Physical Science with the most hateful professor at Shorter, and I was not looking forward to that final. I was terrified because I’d only managed to make one A on anything in that class (and I made a 113 in Physical Science in high school!). I also had a huge paper to write for an English class I didn’t really understand, and I was just way in over my head.
One night, Sarah and I decided we needed to take a short break from studying, so we decided we’d go out to eat somewhere and then get gingerbread houses to assemble and decorate. I’d never made a gingerbread house, so I was excited to give it a try. We decided to eat at Applebee’s and invited David along.
For some reason, Sarah and I decided it would be fun to be mean to David that night. I am always sarcastic and poke fun at him, but it was always in good fun and he obviously knew how much I liked him, so it hadn’t been an issue before. It was just funny. Well, this night was a different story.
Sarah and I sat together in the booth, making David sit alone. We got him to drive us and both sat in the back of the car. When we got to Kroger to get gingerbread house-making supplies, we had David drop us off at the door.
To top off all the stress I was feeling, I was now feeling pretty sick. We got the supplies and headed out, complaining about how far away David had parked the car. My stomach was really hurting, so we made sure to get on to David whenever he would go over a pot hole or speed bump (Shorter has hundreds, it feels like) too quickly. We were being so mean, I don’t know how we are still together today. It was awful.
We headed up to the BCM office, where we usually hung out to do homework, and set to work on our gingerbread houses. Sarah’s was coming along beautifully, fully iced and decorated within a blink of an eye. Mine, however, was another story. I was working hard, slowly trying to put up the walls, when the whole thing just collapsed.
That’s when I lost it. I started crying—like full-on, gross snot everywhere, sorry-you-have-to-see-me-like-this-David sobbing. The stress of the week had gotten to me in a bad way. David and Sarah were stunned by my outburst. I went to the bathroom to regroup and came back to Sarah using my decorations on her house while David was eating the gingerbread walls. I started trying to write my paper, in probably the worst mood I’ve ever been in.
I had no idea that while I was feeling stressed and on the verge of collapse (much like my gingerbread house), David was contemplating ending things between us.